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Disclaimer: I do not own the Stargate SG-1 characters. This is for entertainment purposes only and no profit is being made. Please don't sue...you wouldn't get anything anyway...I'm broke.
Author's Note: This piece of fiction contains ABUSE (physical and emotional)
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Daniel - this is slash folks if that isn't your cup of tea pleas hit the back button.
Memory in a Nightmare
Gasping for air Daniel bolted into a sitting position starring into the nothingness that the bedroom had become in the early morning hours. Taking deliberately slow breaths he focused on his surroundings and the figure beside him. Relief flooded through him, it had been a nightmare and nothing more. The dream's horrifying grip had yet to let go of him as he laid down slowly repeating a whispered mantra. "It was just a dream...just a dream...just a dream."
Jumping slightly as arms encompassed him Daniel tried fervently to forget the details of the nightmare. He hadn't had any for months and now one was threatening to send him over the edge. The memories of the past had once again become nightmare pulling at the edges of his sanity.
His bedmate mumbled into his pillow. "Go back to sleep, Danny. It's too early." Daniel sighed and tried but he couldn't even relax he was way too tense. Finally he just gave up and got out of bed. He however, was stopped in mid-motion by the strong arms that still had a grip on his waist.
"Where do you think you're going? It's three in the morning." Jack asked grumpy as hell at being woken up at this god awful hour. Sitting up he prepared to give Daniel a talking to about proper sleeping hours. Jack stopped before he even started as any feelings of anger or grumpiness were wiped away by Daniel's demeanour and expression.
"What's wrong, Danny?" He asked seeing that whatever it was had certainly done a good job of shaking Daniel up. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.
Daniel didn't reply he didn't even want to remember it. Sighing Daniel laid back down moving closer to Jack. "I had..." He stopped and put his arms around himself in a self hug.
Jacksighed, he hated when Daniel did this. It made him seem so vulnerable. "You hadanother nightmare, didn't you?" When Daniel nodded slowly continuing his self hug Jack pulled him into ahug of his own. "Geez, this had to be a bad one. I haven't seen him like thissince that Hathor bitch got her hands on him." He thought. Placing a kiss on Daniel's forehead he spokesoftly. "Do you want to talk about it?" Jack didn't push when Daniel didn'tanswer, he didn't want Daniel to pull further into himself.
Severalminutes went by and Jack had thought Daniel had fallen asleep again when heheard Danny speak in a voice that befitted a child. "It was horrible. I'dthought I'd forgotten what had happened, maybe that was because I wanted to sobad." Daniel trailed off and started to shudder leaving Jack both bemused andworried.
"What,Danny? What did you want to forget? What happened?" Jack knew now that this wasboth a nightmare and the past as well.
Danieltook a deep breath and began to speak again as the shudders subsided leaving himholding back tears. "I was...It was at one of my foster homes. I can't evenremember which one. It was horrible..."
~~~~
Tenyear old Daniel Jackson walked slowly up the steps of the large house he hadbeen forced to call home for over a month. He could already hear the voicesyelling. Four o'clock in the afternoon and he was drunk already. Daniel wishedhe could have stayed at school but he couldn't. "At least I'm going to school"He thought. His foster parents before and even now had rarely cared enough toallow him to go. These ones had made sure he went probably just so they wouldn'thave to see some scrawny, know-it-all ten year old they had been stuck with24/7.
Musteringall the courage he could and holding his books tightly against his chest Danielentered the house. As soon as he closed the door he had to dunk to avoid theprojectile which had barley missed his head. Out of nowhere his foster fatherwas leaning over him and grabbing him by his scruff of his neck.
"Whatare you doing, boy?" He shook Daniel roughly. "Trying to run after all we'vedone for you?"
Danieldidn't speak, he couldn't. He was terrified of the man that held him in hisgrips: A man that was drunk almost everyday. A man who would yell, bitch andorder to and for anything. The man Daniel had witnessed beat his wifeunconscious ignoring her pleas to stop. Daniel knew he should tell someone butto tell you the truth he was terrified of what might happen or having no onebelieve him to say anything. It had happened before and it would happen again,no one cared about him. He had yet to be beaten and he didn't want to be.
Daniel'ssilence seemed to enrage the man more. "What was that? I couldn't hear you?You'll have to speak up, boy." He taunted as he dragged Daniel roughly up thestairs and threw him in his room. With a slam the door was shut and lockedleaving Daniel more alone and afraid. Daniel would remain there the rest of thenight and would eat nothing. It was like they had forgotten about him.
Thatnight Daniel cried himself to sleep as he had many nights before. He could herethe screaming coming from downstairs and the punches, kicks and slaps landing.Hearing footsteps he feared he was going to be next, but like before it nevercame. Only serving to terrify him and make him paranoid.
Thisis how it went on for many weeks. No one noticed or cared as to why one tenyear old boy was so jumpy and scared all the time. He was just a scrawny, goodfor nothing wimp that couldn't even help his parents that was invisible to theworld. At least that was what he was told by the verbal abuse he took from the drunken man who he lived with.
Onenight would change everything. Daniel had been watching T.V with his fostermother, who like he was, was terrified of the man she was married to. The manhad barged into the living-room drunker than he had ever been. As people wouldhave so bluntly put it he was pissed to the gills. Both made a dash toward anexit trying to escape but the man even in a drunken rage was to fast for eitherof them.
Danielhad been pushed into a corner where he couldn't hide. Where he would have nochoice but to watch what the man did. Screaming incoherent obscenities the manproceeded to beat his wife: Her pleas for mercy once again falling upon deafears. Daniel tried to block it all out but couldn't. He could still hear herscreams and the crack and snapping sounds her bones made as they broke underthe strength and pressure of repeated blows. With tears running down his faceDaniel attempted to hide in the corner and make himself invisible but it wasall to no avail.
Hisfoster father had stopped beating on his wife as she was no longer screamingand held no amusement to him. Daniel couldn't even tell if she was alivethrough all the blood and bruises. Daniel's silent tears turned into sobs as heflashed back to the death of his parents. It was all too overwhelming. Danieldidn't know when it happened but the next thing he knew he felt a solid kickconnect with his legs. He screamed as another one connected and he felt his legbreak. What did he do to deserve this?
Stillsobbing uncontrollably he tried to move out of the man's drunken reach but wasonly grabbed by the scruff and slammed into the wall. Daniel wanted nothingmore than to succumb to the darkness that was threatening to overcome him butthe survival instincts of a ten year old had him struggling, kicking andscreaming.
Theman's anger grew more as Daniel tried to escape and continued to sob. The manhit Daniel several times but before he could kick him the sound of the frontdoor being smashed in made him pause for a split second. Officers rushed intothe room with their guns raised. One of the neighbours had heard the noise andfinally common sense had made them call the police after ignoring it for sometime.
"Letthe boy go and put your hands up." One officer ordered, none wanting to riskmaking a move because of Daniel. The wife had already been checked andproclaimed dead. The man didn't comply instead he hit Daniel again. Theofficers ordered and pleaded trying to get the man to listen so that they couldavoid their next course of action but he never did.
Finallythe only thing that mattered was getting Daniel away from him and they didn'tcare if the man was dead or alive. After much debating of the effects it wouldhave on a ten year old boy the orders had been received. Whoever got a clearshot was to take it, there was no other way.
Theshot rang through the house killing the man instantly with a bullet rightbetween the eyes. Leaving Daniel beside the now deceased man covered in notonly his own blood but by that of the man's to. It was only a little but to aten year old boy it was too much, vomiting Daniel passed out.
DanielJackson was taken to a hospital treated for his injuries and forced to see aphysiatrist. Once he was deemed well enough he was sent to on orphanage wherehe would remain until he was placed into another foster home. Even after thisDaniel was moved from one home to another never getting the proper love andattention he wanted and deserved.
AsDaniel finished his recollection he collapsed against Jack's chest in tears.Just the memory of what had happened had beaten down any barriers Daniel hadhad and seemed to suck any strength he had out of him. Jack now saw why Danielhad wanted to forget what had happened. Jack was also in tears but his werecaused by a mix of emotions.
They were caused by anger, relief, disbelief, pain andsorrow. Anger at the people who could put a kind, gentle and intelligent soullike Daniel through that and relief that Daniel turned out the way he didbecause that along with everything else he had been through was enough to sendanyone over the edge. Disbelief that no one noticed what was going on before itcame to its horrid end; people of this world couldn't be that blind. Couldthey? By the pain the memories had caused Daniel and partially also by thepainful grip Daniel had developed on his arm during the recollection. Jack's tears were also from sorrow, thesorrow of having to see Daniel in so much pain from memories but having no wayto protect him. Jack felt helpless.
As Jack comforted Daniel he pulled himself into alaying position bringing Daniel with him. Daniel's tears subsided and Danielsuccumbed to the emotional exhaustion that tugged at his mind. Jack knew thatit wouldn't be long before Daniel fell into an exhausted and fitful sleep. Soonenough it was true Daniel was asleep and Jack would join him soon after, afterthinking about everything and making a decision.
Jack was glad that Daniel had talked about it becausewhoever said that talking about it helps was right, it did. Jack hoped thatDaniel would never have to deal with his past again. He made it a silentpromise to Daniel that if he did he would be there to help him through it, evenif it meant helping Daniel fight off nightmares and the past when they decidedto gang up on him together.
The End